Time for the first one

So, I'm about to start blogging. Kinda weird, as I have never felt an urge to share the story of my life with others, except for my family. Even they don't know about many things that happen or have happened to me in the past. Actually, I'm fairly sure that I do not even want them to know about many things I have seen and / or experienced. They would either be scared of what could happen to me every day, or disgusted by the things people are capable of doing when it comes to earn their living. Therefore, I do not intend to use my real name while writing this blog, that is the sort of privacy you need when it comes to stories that you are going to read about on this blog.

Well, who are you, one might ask. Well, I'm an Eastern European guy, therefore, forgive me the potential typos and grammatical errors I will most certainly make during the creation of this blog. English is obviously not my primary language, but I'll do my best to be as clear and understandable as possible. Feel free to make any corrections along the way, I won't get pissed.

I've been a - so called - 'mercenary' for several years now (although I prefer the title of 'security officer', it does not sound half as bad as mercenary, now does it?), working around the globe for a well-known company, famous for having a rather large 'private army'. Why the inverted commas? Well, no one in the industry likes to be referred to as a private soldier. Although most of us have extensive military background, being in the private security industry is a hell of a lot more different than being in the Army.

Most importantly, we're pretty much on our own out there most times and we cannot count on the cavalry or the fly-guys bringing in the big guns for our rescue. All we can hope for is that, the guy sitting next to us or watching our back, knows what he's doing. And above all else, we should count on ourselves and a bit of fortune as well.

See, those documentaries you watch on YouTube and other sites, are telling you that we're a bunch of trigger-happy murderers with only one aim: kill as many people as possible. That isn't entirely true. Those people saying things like this have never been in a war zone and have absolutely no idea what is it like to put their lives on the line every single day they get out of the safe zone. They have no idea what it feels like when you see a long-time friend of yours being shot dead or blown to pieces by an IED. They have never in their lives experienced what it feels like when you have to keep your best buddy alive by trying to keep his guts inside his stomach with your bare hands, just to see him die after a few minutes. Or arrange a late evening darts game with one of your friends, only to find out when it's time, that he went missing while on an escort mission. I could give you dozens of more examples, but to hell with it. These kinds of people will simply never understand it until they went through the exact same things that we have to live through every day. I bet they'd go insane in a week...

Actually, we are caring people. 99% of us have wives and kids or loved ones waiting for us back home. And we all came here in hope of securing a better living for our families back home. To secure a way out of a mortgage that we can no longer pay, for both parents have lost their jobs. Or, like one of my old buddies, have a child with a serious illness and they can no longer afford to pay the medical bills. And there are a lot more reasons, believe me, most of them perfectly legitimate.

I'm not saying that there aren't any people that are here for the killing. There have always been and there will always be people like that. But they are extremely few in numbers. Maybe one out of a thousand of us. There's no doubt that these people should not be here, but show me a system that is flawless. It's so sad that the media only captures the wrongdoings of the private security industry and never talks about the things we do right. Of course, showing the fearsome mercenaries playing baseball or soccer with little kids would not sell as much as the same fearsome mercenary killing 2-3 civilians in a firefight, when anyone wearing a rag on top of their head could be hiding an RPG or a grenade or could be wired with explosives... Of course they don't, after all, most of those news reporters could not even point out the countries we're operating at... Not to mention some hands-on experience... I bet you all, if they would have to do our job for just one day, their opinion would take a 180 degree turn in the opposite direction.

But I can live with that. At first, I felt it was insulting for I was there not to kill, but to help those people in need. I honestly don't care about it anymore, I got used to it over the years. This is the part when some of you might say: 'It was your choice, no one asked you to go there'. You're right. No one did. But there should always be someone who does the dirty job. That's a fact. If there would be no such people, you, my friend, would not be living in an all-mighty US of A. That's a fact, too. Possible that America would not even be on the map now, if there would have been no such people in the past. And America will certainly not be on the map, if there will be no such people in the future. It's like that.

Just think about it when you're reading this from the safety of your home. Everything that you own would not be yours if America was not exploiting other, less powerful nations around the globe. This is a fact. Instead of having a big, fat and lazy ass, you would most probably be working your ass off to stay alive and have at least one meal a day. War is tough, no one has ever said it was a joyride. It is always about having a less powerful (and as such, exploited) side and a more powerful , which does the exploiting. More importantly, war will never end. That is just a dream of some hopelessly peaceful dummies not having a clue about realities in life. World peace, kumbaya, blablabla... Wake up! It doesn't exist!

Whatever... It isn't my intention to change the attitude of those people. Instead, I plan to use this little corner of cyberspace to share stories on what I have seen and experienced while working in this industry and also to pay tribute to those friends of mine who have fallen along the way. Do not expect precise dates, places and names. Since I have a confidentiality agreement with my employer, I may not disclose such information, but I will try to be as specific as possible, given the circumstances.

Mike